We are Cook and Effy
by kinselllas
Summary: the story of cook picking up effy's pieces after freddie's death
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**_ No, I do not own Skins or any of it's characters. Although, I do love the show to death.

**Author's Note: **_I chose to not include the aftermath of Dr. Foster or Cook going back to jail. I feel like it's just too much work to get into legal issues and be able to portray it accurately. I know it may start off a little slow but trust me when I say it'll get better. (:_

Heartbeat. All Effy Stonem can hear is her own heart beating rapidly. The wind blows past her violently but she refuses to move. Her feet are rooted in place. She looks up to find the only person still standing by Freddie's grave, Cook. They lock eyes for a moment before fixating their gazes back on the ground. She's scared. She's not even totally sure what she's scared of. She takes a drag of her cigarette and exhales slowly. The smoke travels upward and blends its way into the clouds. Her eyes close. She hopes that when she opens them, none of this will be real.

Silence. James Cook is overwhelmed by the complete silence that surrounds him. He has no idea why he's still staring at the headstone. He guesses that it's because he's hoping if he stares long enough this will all make sense to him. He can sense Effy looking at him so he looks up at her. She looks beautiful, but sad. He wants to say something, anything to make things better. He doesn't have a clue what he could say to make things better. As soon and she looks back down, he does the same. His eyes travel back in her direction, only to find that hers are closed. Peaceful, she looks incredibly peaceful, as if this is her memorial service and she's escaped all the nonsense life has been hurling at her.

"Cook," Her voice interrupts his thoughts.

"Yeah, Eff."

"Do you believe there's a heaven?"

Cook is silent for a few minutes before responding, "There's gotta be."

"How are you so sure?" Effy's voice sounded genuinely concerned, like she depended on his answer to help her sleep at night. The sad thing is, she probably did.

"Because this, what we're living right now, this is hell."

He wants to wrap his arms around her and hold her, try to make everything okay. But he knew she'd hate that. She hates looking vulnerable to anyone. He and Effy are the same in that way. They'd rather have their emotions eat them alive inside than show them to anyone else outside.

Then she does something he wouldn't normally expect. She walks up to him and wraps her arms around him and holds him, tries to make everything okay. She buries her face into the warmth of his chest and takes a deep breath. She wants to cry, but she refuses to. Cook tightens his arms around her shoulders until she almost can't breathe. Effy loves that feeling. She feels safe for the first time in weeks. They aren't talking. Neither one has a clue what to say. Effy finds the silence beautiful, it's as if everything they need to say, they're feeling it instead.

"Effy, it's time to go." Anthea calls from a few feet away.

Effy doesn't want to let go. The minute she does, she'll be alone again. Cook presses his lips against her forehead with as much force as he can before walking her back to Anthea's car. No one says goodbye. Effy just climbs in the front seat silently and blankly stares out the front windshield. Anthea nods a half smile at Cook before climbing into her own seat. As the car drives away, Cook is left standing by himself. He is overwhelmed by the complete silence that surrounds him. James Cook misses his best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Effy picks up Freddie's notebook from her nightstand. She studies every single "I love her" as if it's a brand new phrase each time. She inhales deeply from her spliff and smiles. She's doesn't know why she's smiling, but she doesn't question it. It's almost like she can feel Freddie sitting next to her. Effy feels comfortable. Comfortable enough to leave the house and walk down the sidewalk alone in the cool evening air.

It's been at least two months since Freddie's memorial service. Effy is finally starting to feel better. Not necessarily _good,_ but better than shit. She throws her spliff on the ground and looks up at the sky. Hazy shades of pink and orange contrast against the deep grayish blue. It's been awhile since she's seen a sunset. She's grown accustomed to staring at the blank white walls of her room rather than looking outside to face the real world.

Effy could walk to Naomi's house, but she's not ready to face everyone just yet. She wants to give herself a little more time alone before she tries to get back to the way things were, not that they'll ever get back to the way they were. She misses her friends though. It's funny to think about because Effy never thought she even wanted friends. After Tony left she was ready to face everything on her own. Now she had people who cared about her, and genuinely wanted to spend time with her. Even when she went mental, none of them turned their backs on her. They also didn't understand her. None of them, except Cook.

Cook is sitting inside the local pub drinking a beer when he sees Effy walking by. It looks like she's by herself, which surprises him, but he's also surprised to see her outside of the house at all. He leaps up from his seat and makes his way out the door, grabbing her by the arm before she can get too far ahead. Some navy blue eyeliner circles around her eyes, but not as dark as it used to. He'd been noticing her more natural look lately and to be honest he was even more attracted to her than before. Sure, he'd always found the old Effy insanely attractive and alluring, but also insanely scary.

"Where you off to, princess?" He took a sip from his beer then offered it to her. She chugged the rest of it and smiled before shrugging simply.

"Not really sure."

Cook knew it was wrong to still want Effy. She was his best friend's girl and his best friend was dead. Yet, he couldn't help himself. He had never met someone like Effy before. Someone who was capable of making him feel. He'd tried to replace her many times, but no girl could hold his attention long enough. Everything always came back to Effy.

"Well don't just stand there then, let's get monumentally fucked up."

He could tell she was hesitant for a second, but quickly nodded yes and grabbed his hand as she jogged down the sidewalk. He wasn't really sure where they were headed but he'd follow Effy anywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

Four painkillers and a bottle of vodka later, Cook and Effy find themselves climbing all over an old park a couple blocks from Freddie's house. The ground keeps spinning and Effy feels nothing. She feels completely numb, and she loves it. She holds the bottle up to Cook's mouth and tips it back for him. Even when he pulls away, she lets it keep pouring, spilling all over his chin and neck. As they laugh, Effy feels a warmth running through her. She could blame it on the drugs, but it almost feels like genuine happiness is traveling through her bloodstream. Effy stops thinking as she grabs a fistful of Cook's shirt and pulls him toward her, licking the alcohol off of his neck.

He doesn't know how to react. At first he just throws his head back and laughs. Then she pushes him down onto the bottom of a slide and straddles his lap. Cook has no idea what's going on right now. He can barely see straight. He knows two things for certain: 1. He has this intense need for Effy that he can't deny. 2. He can't do this, it'd be wrong. He pulls away from her and stares into her eyes. She has this devilish grin on her face that Cook can't resist.

"Eff…wait." She places her finger on his mouth to quiet him as she pulls his shirt off. She kisses his jaw line, all the way up to his ear and lets her tongue run along the shell before whispering, "I don't want to wait anymore."

He can't decide if this is wrong now. Effy wants it, and lord knows he wants it. He's not taking advantage of a random drunk girl from the club. He loves Effy. There's no question in his mind that he loves her, no matter how many times he tries to tell himself he's not. At this point his body is aching for her, begging to be touched by her. Effy lets her fingertips trace over his chest and down his stomach. He lets his fingers intertwine with her hair as he pulls her in for a kiss. Her mouth tastes like cinnamon and vodka, and he desperately wants to breathe her in as much as he can.

Effy is completely lost in the moment. Her mind doesn't once think of Freddie as she pulls off Cook's shirt and lets him slide his hand up her thigh and underneath her dress. Instead she lets out a breathy gasp and kisses him back passionately. As his hands travel over her body she feels safe again. She feels the way she did at Freddie's memorial. Effy just wants to be happy again, whatever happy feels like. Everything starts to turn black around her as Cook slowly sets her down on the damp grass. She starts to shiver from the breeze and he wraps his arms around her her, rubbing his hands up and down her body to warm her up.

"I miss Freddie."

Cook hears her whisper something about Freddie but he chooses to ignore it. She's coming down, hard. He realized it the minute her head nuzzled into his neck and she stopped moving. He knew they weren't going to have sex, and to be honest he wasn't even mad. He wasn't totally ready to open up to the possibility of having Effy break his heart all over again. All he cared about right now was making sure she was warm enough to sleep. She stops shaking so he relaxes and cuddles up next to her. Cuddling's not usually his thing, but it feels right at the moment. They're laying face to face now with Effy's head resting on his arm. It's not even very comfortable for him but he can't move. He can't stop watching her sleep. He strokes her hair gently and a small smile creeps across her face as she nuzzles in closer to him. Cook remembers Effy asking him if there was a heaven. If there is, he imagines, it must feel something like this.

**Author's Note: **_Please feel free to give an reviews or criticism about this chapter. I'd like to add that I was in no way trying to make a mockery of the Freddie/Effy relationship, which is why I tried to make it clear that she's not completely over the death. ANYWAY, I'm rambling. Let me know what you thinkk! I'm open to suggestions._


	4. Chapter 4

Is it possible to be addicted to a person? Since the day Cook met Effy he hasn't been able to stay away. His body gets desperate for her some days, to the point of wanting to hurt himself for not treating her better. He watches as she yawns deeply and opens her eyes to the cloudy morning. She looks up at him with confusion. He knew she wouldn't remember the night before.

"Morning Eff." He nods while taking a drag of his spliff.

She snatches it out of his hand and inhales deeply. She doesn't really care what happened last night. She hasn't slept that well in months, and it's nice to wake up to someone other than herself. Effy knows they didn't have sex, she could tell if they did. She's not sure why they didn't though. She figured Cook would jump at the chance. She hands his spliff back to him and sits up.

"I'll walk you home, yeah?" Cook stands up and offers a hand to help her.

As he pulls her up she finds herself pressed against his chest and his arm around her waist. His eyes travel from her eyes down to her lips and she has a feeling any minute he's going to lean in and kiss her. But he doesn't. Instead, he just stares at her and whispers, "Fucking beautiful." before letting go and stepping back to start walking. Effy smiles to herself as they walk. Flattery usually doesn't have an affect on her, but he said it with such conviction, as if no one could ever tell him otherwise.

Something about Cook was so irresistible to her. Even when she was with Freddie, she missed Cook's passion. He was the bravest person she knew. She could tell he rarely thought about anything he said. He would just speak whatever was on his mind. He wasn't afraid to go after what he wanted. When he wanted Effy, he got her. He just couldn't keep her.

Cook can't help but keep looking over at Effy as she walks. Losing Effy to Freddie hurt Cook's pride, but it really broke his heart first. He can't believe that he and Freddie used to fight over her the way they did. Effy never belonged to Cook, but she never belonged to Freddie either. Effy Stonem doesn't belong to anybody. This realization kills him to think about, but it's probably true. He knew from the minute he met her that she was trouble. She'd probably say the exact same thing about him.

"What's on your mind, Eff?" He asks to break the silence.

"You reek of booze." There was a lot on Effy's mind, but she couldn't share any of it with Cook. She smiles as he pushes her playfully. She watches him pull a cigarette out of his pocket and light it. Effy's staring critically at him, and she realizes just how beautiful he really is. His eyes tell a story that she'd never even attempt to understand. Sometimes she wondered why Cook even stayed around. She treated him like shit. Maybe at the beginning he didn't want anything more than sex from her, but she knew how he felt by the end of the first year. She knew how he felt and she continued to screw him over anyway. Then she remembers why…Freddie. Maybe Freddie could actually be happy now. Maybe he could finally relax. Effy put him through hell, and she wasn't afraid to admit it.

"You want to come in?" Effy asks as they approach her house.

"I want to. But I can't." He replies, and can read the clear disappointment on Effy's face. He can tell she just wants someone near her, someone besides her mother to talk to. He's not used to her wanting him around the way she does all of a sudden. Then he remembers why…Freddie. She lost her boyfriend less than three months ago.

"I promised JJ I'd meet him at the pub this afternoon."

Every since Freddie died, Cook's been trying to be a better friend to JJ and everyone else. He could easily ditch Jay and walk up those familiar stairs to Effy's room, but he was tired of choosing a girl over his friends. She just nodded and opened the door to walk inside.

"Hey Effy," he started before she took another step, "Naomi's having a party tonight, if you'd like to come." He knew she'd probably say no, because a party was a lot for her to handle. She thought for a few minutes before she looked up and smiled at him.

"Sure. Pick me up at 8." Her answer caught him off guard, so he didn't even think when he responded with "It's a date." She raises an eyebrow at him but doesn't respond, like she's waiting for him to save himself. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to give her the satisfaction of making him look stupid.

"You heard me, princess." He nods as he turns his back to her and makes his way down the sidewalk. Effy has no response. She just rolls her eyes and slams the door behind her. It's gonna be an interesting night.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're lookin' top tonight, Eff."

Cook grins as Effy walks down the stairs from her bedroom. Fuck, she looks good, really good. In a loose black mini dress with her hair falling straight down her back she looks like the old Effy. He wants to play it cool so he turns his grin into a smirk and throws his arm around her shoulders, pulling her out the door with him.

"You're looking shitty, like always."

Effy teases and snakes an arm around his waist. She was apprehensive about coming tonight, but Katie practically begged her. Not to mention, she'd already promised Cook she'd be there. She didn't expect him to look as good as he did. But then again, she never expects much from Cook. She's missed Cook. She would never tell him that, because she doesn't want to ruin this friendship they have right now. During all of her time alone, when she wasn't thinking of Freddie, her mind would immediately flash to Cook. He was a lot like her brother in some ways and she realized that's probably why she's always been so close to him. She misses Tony too. Fuck, why does everyone she loves have to leave?

"Effy! You…came?" Naomi yells in a fit of excitement and confusion. In fact everyone looks pretty shocked to see her. Katie's the first one to make a move, walking up to give both Effy and Cook hugs before grabbing another drink. Effy looks around and everyone is already wasted. She has catching up to do. There's a bottle of whiskey sitting on the kitchen counter so Effy grabs it and takes a huge gulp. It burns going down her throat and warms her body.

"Wanna hit it?"

Effy looks up at the stranger standing next her, holding the spliff. He's tall, must be at least 6'11" with a black faux hawk and intense green eyes. She takes the spliff inhale. He's watching intensely.

"Can I help you?" She asks and hands it back to him.

"I don't know, can you?" A devious smirk tugs at his lips.

Effy hates lines like that. If a guy wants something, she wishes he would just say it, instead of beating around the bush and making her guess. She rolls her eyes and walks away. If he decides he wants to answer her, he can come find her later. As she's walking, Katie slips an MDMA tablet into her hand. Effy places it on her tongue and chases it with a shot of vodka, plus another shot, and then another.

She can't stop. Effy is dancing by herself in the middle of the living room with a cup of whiskey and soda in her hand. When her glass is empty, someone refills it. Everyone knows she's had too much but they're afraid to say anything. Cook comes up next to her ear and asks if she's all right. She just nods and takes another swig of her drink. She looks over a few minutes later and Cook is leaning on Katie with his hands all over her. He whispers something in her ear but she just laughs and pushes him away. Effy squeezes her eyes shut. This is what she was afraid of. The image shouldn't upset her, but it does. She stumbles her way outside and lights a cigarette.

"You okay?" Naomi asks, closing the door behind her.

"I don't know what I am." Effy exhales and looks up at the stars.

Naomi knows something's not right. She has a feeling it has something to do with Freddie, or maybe Cook. It was confusing to Naomi how Effy could play everything off as if she doesn't care, but in the end she's probably the one who cares the most.

"What the fuck is this?" Cook asks as he swings the door open. He notices Effy sitting on the step with her face buried in her hands.

"Eff?"

Naomi just pats him on the shoulder and walks inside. If anyone can handle the situation with Effy, it's Cook. She has no doubts about that.

"So what's this? You're not talking to me now?"

Cook hates the fact that Effy won't even look at him. He's really fucked up at the point and he has no idea why she's so upset. He puts his hand on her knee but she swats it away.

"You should go find Katie. I'm sure she's waiting to get your fuck on, yeah?"

As soon as Effy mentions Katie's name, his stomach drops. He knew he made a mistake being all over her the way he was but god forbid he gets a little horny once in awhile, especially when he's wasted off his ass. He stands up to face her, making sure to keep his balance.

"Well what the fuck do you want from me, Eff? We're not dating, you and I. At least not last time I checked."

The whole situation feels like Pandora all over again. Effy knows she shouldn't be jealous but for some reason she is. Effy doesn't want to have this conversation anymore. She feels like any minute she'll say something she'll regret in the morning.

"Yeah, I tried to fuck Katie. And you know what she said? She said 'No, I see the way you look at Effy.'"

Effy looks up at him for the first time since he came outside. There's something in her eyes, like she wants to say something but she has no idea how to say it. He knows whatever it is he won't hear it tonight. He realizes then and there that he has something to prove to Effy now. She won't make this easy on him.

"Sorry I stopped you from getting laid. Piss off then." Effy throws her cigarette on the ground but doesn't get up from her spot on the step.

"Right, right, right," Cook's hands are gesturing all over the place, "it's all my fault. Whatever, fuck this. I'm going inside." He slams the door and leaves Effy outside sitting by herself. There's this feeling in her chest that she can't really explain. It's like someone just rolled a huge boulder on her while inside their friend lit a fire under her heart. She doesn't know how long she can't stand it before her heart explodes and melts into a puddle that she'll puke up in the morning.

**Author's note: **Sorry, I know the last line is a little graphic, I was going off of experience- sometimes heartache is that rough. Reviews are appreciated, but I'll be sure to keep writing either wayy. (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: **_I'm not totally sure how i feel about this chapter. It was incredibly hard to write. Reviews are much appreciated, I love hearing what other people have to think (: and thank you to those of you who have already shared your kind thoughts. _

Effy's walking down the street when she realizes someone's walking with her. Black faux hawk, green eyes, intense stare. Who the fuck is this? He seems pretty friendly with her, which confuses her even more. She's trying to think back to the party but it's all one big blur. She can hear Cook's voice in her head yelling at her and she tries desperately to drown it out. Then it hits her. She remembers grabbing him by the hand and dragging him out the door with her. She still doesn't know his name, but it really doesn't matter.

"We almost to your house, babe?"

She finds his voice obnoxious, and wants him to stop talking immediately. But he doesn't, he keeps rambling incessantly about how wasted he is and how sexy she is. Effy is literally disgusted. She whips around on her heels and glares at him.

"My house is right up there, and no, you're not coming in so good luck finding your way home. Fucking tosser."

His confusion is entertaining to her. She cocks her head to the side and shrugs as if to say: _You followed me here for absolutely no reason. Hope you get lost and fall off a bridge on your way back. _He's not a bad looking guy. She's satisfied with herself for being able to snag him. But she doesn't want him. He's useless to her now. He was just a ploy to make herself feel better.

Meanwhile at Naomi's, Cook is going insane. He watched as Effy left with some guy he's sure she doesn't even know the name of. He wanted to stop her. He should've stopped her. Instead he's standing in Naomi's backyard chucking empty beer bottles at a large tree. Every time he hears the glass shatter he pretends it's Effy's heart.

"You know why she's doing this." Katie sits down on the grass watching him.

"She's a cold hearted bitch?" Cook replies as he throws another bottle.

"Cook," she starts, "you and I both know why Effy's _really_ doing this."

Cook takes a deep breath and sits down next to Katie. He needs to learn how to calm down. Something about Effy just makes him crazy inside. She'll turn anything into a game if it means that she's in control, which clearly, she was tonight. Cook doesn't like games anymore though. In fact, he's fucking sick of them. If she wants to be "just friends" he'll be her friend. It'll be hard as hell for him, but he'd do it for her. If she wants to be more than friends, he wishes she'd just fucking tell him already instead of putting both of them through intense heartache.

"Yeah, yeah. I know why she's doing it."

He nods and stares at the ground. Effy has to be one of the most intoxicating people he's ever met. She's also one of the most complicated. They're both damaged. They both know what it's like to have parents who don't love them, or at least don't know how to show it. He understands why Effy acts the way she does, but that doesn't mean it hurts him any less.

"I think part of her is scared, you know? Scared that if she's happy, she'll start to forget Freddie."

Katie's smarter than Cook realized. He regrets not spending more time with her in college. He also starts to feel like an asshole for leaving Effy outside by herself. She can't talk things through the way most people can and for once he got impatient with her for it.

"Good talk, Katiekins. I've got to go take care of this mess she and I made now." Cook ruffled her hair as he stood up.

"You won't be able to fix it overnight, Cook." Katie yells to him as he makes his way out of the backyard towards the street.

"And I'll never be able to fix it at all if I don't start tonight." Cook shrugs and lights his spliff, blowing out a huge puff of smoke. He only has one thing on his mind right now, Effy Stonem. He can see her crystal blue eyes. He can feel her silky brown hair. He can smell her flowery vanilla scent. He gets excited just thinking about it. On his way to Effy's he passes Freddie's house. He can't help but stop and look up at the sky. He knows Freddie's probably watching him right now, pacing back and forth the way he always does when he gets angry. But he'll calm down. Cook knows he will.

"Love you, Freds." he whispers to himself.

Effy's house seems further away than he remembered. He can't believe that she walked all the way back here because she was mad at him. As he knocks on the door he prays to God the guy she came home with isn't here.

"The fuck do you want?" He hears her voice from upstairs.

Cook takes a step back and sees Effy standing at her window. Her makeup is smeared down her face and her hair's a mess. Maybe he's too late. Maybe they already fucked and the asshole just left. Cook really doesn't want to believe that.

"Just let me in, Eff."

He doesn't like how desperate he sounds at that moment, almost pleading. The control she has over him is incredible. Effy just rolls her eyes and stares at him for a few minutes. She doesn't say anything, like she's trying to decide if she's over what happened at the party.

"Fuck off, Cook. Go home"

Guess that's a no. And with that Cook turns his back to her and leaves. He's not going to keep fighting a war he'll never win. When Effy's ready to talk she can come to him. He's done trying to convince her of something that's already evident to both of them.

She can keep pretending as much as she wants, but she's not fooling anyone.


	7. Chapter 7

"Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my life?" JJ asked, interrupting Cook midsentence.

He was getting sick of hearing about Effy every minute of the day. Especially because it wasn't even an interesting conversation, just Cook whining about how she hasn't called or texted him like he thought she would.

"Is there something going on in your life, Jay?

"Well no, not really."

That response got Cook back to where he left off. JJ takes a huge gulp of his beer and stares at the table. He notices a small water stain and immediately starts to scrub it off. For a while there, he zones out of the conversation. He's sure it's nothing he hasn't heard before anyway. This wasn't his friend. This guy, acting like a thirteen year old girl. Effy just has a way of twisting people. JJ has no idea how she does it.

"Fucking ridiculous, am I right?" Cook's staring at him, waiting for a confirmation.

"Fucking ridiculous." JJ shakes his head and sighs. Cook's the one who's fucking ridiculous. Stuff like this doesn't get through to Effy. She won't realize anything if she's left alone for weeks at a time. It's been almost three weeks since Naomi's party. Cook's not the only one who hasn't heard from Effy. No one has. JJ assumes she's on some sort of downward spiral again, but to be honest, he wouldn't know how to help if he tried.

"Think you should go see her soon?" JJ asks innocently, but he knows Cook will say no. He's been suggesting Cook go see Effy ever since that night, but he refuses.

"Nah, Jay. If I come to her, she's in control again."

JJ doesn't understand why someone always has to be in control with those two, why they can't just have a mutual relationship. Effy plays games, but Cook always feeds into them.

"You're both fucking twats." JJ mumbles under his breath as Cook keeps talking.

Effy lays in her bed staring at the ceiling. She thought he would've showed up by now. Freddie would have. _But that's not fair_, she thinks, _Cook is not Freddie._ Cook is fierce and independent. He doesn't need to put up with her bullshit. He doesn't need…her. She feels her eyes welling up but she quickly wipes them dry and looks in the mirror. She looks like hell. Effy walks to the bathroom and starts a shower. She waits until the water is scolding hot and climbs in. The pain of the burn helps her forget the pain she feels in the center of her chest.

Cook has no idea how he's already drunk. He's stumbling all over the place, tripping over furniture, and knocking into people. Naomi's house isn't as crazy as usual. Cook can recognize almost everyone, which is rare. He's gone for more than three days without thinking about Effy, which is a record for him. But as the drugs hit hard, so does she. His head is spinning with the image of her face. He falls onto the couch next to Naomi and closes his eyes.

"You ready to shag yet, blondie?"

Naomi just laughs takes a sip of her drink. Everyone around them is yelling and laughing and screaming. Then suddenly the room goes almost silent. Cook looks up to see Effy standing in the doorway. Her clothes are more fitted than usual. He eyes the tight black mini skirt that clings to her long legs and a lacey white top that reveals her bright red bra. He can't take his eyes off of her. He realizes that everyone else can't either. She looks at Cook for only a second, smirking, then turns away from him.

"I wish you two would just fuck each other and get it over with already."

Naomi rolls her eyes and lets her gaze fall on Cook. He wishes that too. But he doesn't want to get it over with. He wants to feel her, every single part of her.

Effy walks up to a random guy and grabs his drink, downing the rest of it. She knows she's driving Cook crazy right now, and she likes it. She wants to make him feel the way she's been feeling for the past three weeks. She could only make eye contact with him for a second before she had to rip her gaze away. If she stared any longer she feared he'd be able to see through the wall she has built up tonight.

Cook still hasn't moved from his spot on the couch. He's forgotten how to walk. All he can do is watch Effy. Every single move, every time she laughs, he watches it all. He's mesmerized. She looks so beautiful tonight. She always looks beautiful to him, but tonight is different. She looks careless and free. She looks…happy. He loves this new Effy, he's infatuated with her. She sprinkles some salt on her collarbone and puts a wedge of lime in her mouth. The guy standing next to her downs a shot of tequila, licks the salt off of her and presses his mouth against hers to retrieve the lime. Cook knows she's messing with him. He won't get worked up about it this time, because that's exactly what she wants. Instead he stands up from his spot, walks over to ruffle Effy's hair with his hand, and goes upstairs. He knows she won't follow him, but he doesn't care. Getting away from her right now is the smartest thing he can do.

Effy doesn't know what to think when Cook walks upstairs. She likes that he's starting to control himself, but she also misses the old Cook with a crazy temper who would knock this guy out in a second just for looking at her. JJ catches her off guard by grabbing her arm and dragging her into an empty bedroom.

"JJ, what the fuck?" She glares at him, but he doesn't seem intimidated anymore.

"What are you so afraid of, Effy?" He's raising his voice at her but she shows no signs of caring.

"I'm not afraid of anything." Effy just shrugs and sits on the bed.

"You are afraid. That's why you're fucking with Cook's head the same way you fucked with Freddie's."

That line hurts Effy a little bit. When she hears Freddie's name her stomach churns slightly. She doesn't know how to respond. She just stares at the floor. Effy can feel JJ's eyes on her but she can't look up.

"He's capable of breaking my heart, Jay. The way Freddie never could."

"Don't you realize, Effy? You're already breaking his."

JJ wants to be sympathetic. He wants to understand her situation and try to make sense of things, but he can't. He's irritated, to be frankly honest. Effy is being selfish, anyone can see that. He can't look at her anymore. He just sighs deeply and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Effy had always thought of her relationship with Cook as toxic, like it was destroying her. But maybe JJ was right, maybe the reason she had always stayed away from Cook was because she feared the affect he had on her. She was scared of the way he made her act, the way he made her feel. It was all frightening to her.

She left the bedroom to find Cook standing in the kitchen, having a drink and laughing with Emily and Katie. The whole situation really intimidates her. She wants to say something to him, but she has no idea how. Effy does what she does best. She avoids it. She walks into the living room and sits down on the couch.

Cook looks over at Effy. She doesn't look like she's having such a good time anymore. She still smiles when people pass by her, but he can see past that. He can see that there's so much going on behind that smile. The minute they lock eyes he can feel everything. He can feel everything that she's feeling at that moment. He needs her, and he's starting to think she needs him too. If Effy's too stubborn to do anything about it, he will.

"Fuck it." He mumbles as he drops his drink to the floor and charges towards her.

He doesn't care who's watching right now and he doesn't care what they think. He grabs Effy by the back of the neck and leans down as his lips come crashing into hers. He kisses her so hard that he swears he probably bruised her mouth. She doesn't reject him though. She wraps her legs around the back of his knees and pulls him closer to her.

Effy is in love with a moment. Can you be in love with a moment? She doesn't know, but she doesn't care. She wants this moment to replay in her head over and over again. She pulls back for a second and presses her forehead against his, looking him directly in the eye.

"I fucking love you." She whispers.

Cook never imagined he'd hear those words come out of Effy Stonem's mouth, no matter how many times he hoped they would. He tries to think of something clever to respond with, but he knows Effy's not looking for jokes right now. He smiles as he presses his lips against hers and responds,

"I love the hell out of you."


	8. Chapter 8

Sex. Usually it's only sex. It's rough and wild and uninhibited. Tonight it's something different. The passion Effy feels is intermingling with the word "love." It's not just sex anymore. It's something much more complex. As Cook thrusts into her, Effy pulls his face up to hers. A rush of electricity runs through her body and it's almost as if she can feel sparks pulsating on her lips. The funny thing is, their mouths haven't even touched yet.

"_She likes it mindless, so do I."_ Cook remembers saying that more than two years ago to JJ while fighting about Effy. As he looks down at Effy's beautiful body below him, he realizes this isn't just mindless fucking anymore.

"_I fucking love you." _He wishes he could hear her say those words over and over again. She's pulling him closer to her than she used to, and he can tell she wants desperately to feel connected to him. It's almost as if she's trying to make up for lost time.

Effy's mind can't stop racing. As they lay next to each other in Naomi's guest bed, she can't get herself to relax. She can't stop thinking of Freddie. He was everything. Freddie was perfect. He was the perfect person for her and it kills her that he's gone. But maybe love's not about simply finding the perfect person. Maybe love's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly. The thing about Cook and Effy is that they've both been damaged numerous times and now they know how to survive. They know how to survive each other.

Cook's staring at the ceiling. He's used to having this empty feeling in his stomach after he has sex, especially when he has sex with Effy. He doesn't have that feeling tonight. All he can feel is Effy's arm wrapped tightly around his waist as the rain comes pouring down outside. His abs are covered in hickeys and scratches. He loves them. They're all reminders of the fact that Effy's his now. He has never felt more satisfied after sex.

"I've missed you, Cook." Effy whispers as she kisses his neck.

Fuck, then she does shit like that and he falls in love all over again. Just the words were enough to turn him on. During those three weeks that he and Effy didn't talk, Cook did a lot of thinking. Sometimes he worried that even if Effy did return his feelings, he'd be some sort of constellation prize. Like if Batman died, and his girlfriend hooked up with Robin because she had no one else. But Cook's been with a lot of girls. He knows genuine want when he feels it, and he can feel it when Effy touches him.

"Shit, Eff." He grins as he climbs on top of her and nuzzles his face into her hair, "I never stopped missing you."

"Fucking wanker, I'm trying to fall asleep." Effy groans and pushes him off of her.

He completely disregards the statement and kisses her deeply as he slowly parts her lips with his tongue. His lower body presses against her and he watches as she bites down on her lip with a smile. Judging by the way her body's responding, sleep is the last thing Effy has on her mind.

In her own bedroom, Naomi rolls her eyes.

"Sounds like fucking Round 2, literally."

It's been two hours since everyone watched Cook and Effy make out all the way to the guest bedroom as Cook pushed the door open and pulled her inside. Naomi hoped they would fall asleep and she could finally pass out, but she could hear the bed starting to creak again. Emily is already asleep next to her. Naomi looks down at her with jealousy.

"Bloody hell," She whispers. "I'm never getting to sleep."

**Author's Note:**_ I'm sorry this chapter's so short and somewhat anti-climactic, but I just want to showcase the old Cook and Effy and keep things simple if only for a little while. (: I'd love to hear any thoughts and i'll be sure to spice it up with some more excitement next chapterr! _


	9. Chapter 9

"Tony!" Effy screeches as she sprints out to the car. She normally never gets this excited... about anything. But she's missed her older brother, especially with everything going on in her life lately. He wasn't even there when Freddie died. Tony embraces her with open arms and grins brightly.

"Effy fucking Stonem, look at you." He takes a step back to look at her.

Tony is happy to see that his sister is starting to regain that innocence she had lost so long ago. When he left, she looked broken, like a piece of her was missing. But as she stands in front of him, smiling with her eyes, he can tell things have changed. He wishes he could've been there when Effy's life went to shit, but he didn't have enough money at school to take the train back.

"Look at me." Effy nods her head gently.

She's obviously proud of how much she's grown, and so is he. Tony, of all people, knows what it's like to push away everyone you love. Effy's the only person he never stopped caring about. In some ways, she's his whole life, even if he can't always be there to support her.

"How long are you staying?" Effy asks as she carries one of Tony's suitcases upstairs.

She hopes he'll be here for awhile, but that's wishful thinking. He says he'll only be here a couple weeks but she doesn't care. She's just happy to have him around at all. She wonders if she'll see Michelle too, maybe even Sid. They had both become like family to her until they moved away.

"So when do I get to meet this Cook fellow?" Tony throws his stuff down on the floor and sits on his bed. He's missed his room. It looks so lonely without him.

"You can come to a party at the lake with us tonight if you want."

He hasn't partied with his little sister in awhile, and he isn't sure how he feels about partying with his little sister and her "boyfriend," if that's even what Cook is. He can't say no to Effy though, no one can.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there."

* * *

><p>Cook is not who Tony expects him to be. He's disheveled and crazy, he's practically the male version of Effy. His handshake is firm and confident, just like Tony's. He likes Cook more than he thought he would. He's good for Effy. He might be carefree and a little idiotic, but he seems to be pretty infatuated with Effy.<p>

He and Tony sit down at a picnic table and watch as Effy spins in circles with Katie until they both fall to the ground in a fit of giggles. Effy looks over at Tony and smiles, then her gaze moves to Cook.

"The way you two stare at each other, it's like you're in a completely different world from everyone else."

Cook listens to Tony's words as he stares back at Effy. It's true, when he looks at her, everything else disappears. He's in a world where it's only Cook and Effy. They somehow become mesmerized by each other.

"Yeah, man. I don't know how to explain it." Cook just shrugs and lights up a spliff, handing it to Tony. To be honest, he can't believe he's standing next to the infamous Tony Stonem talking about his beautiful younger sister, Effy Stonem. Tony's the man. There's no other way to put it.

"You're brother's looking fit, yeah?" Katie glances over at Tony with a devilish smirk on her face.

"Fuck off, Katie." Effy rolls her eyes and scoops up some sand, letting it slide through her fingers. Her brother has the ability to turn girls into idiots and she really doesn't want that to happen to one of her closest friends. She also doesn't want Katie to use Tony as some sort of sex toy, just because she's horny. Effy stands up, wiping the sand off of her shorts and helps Katie up.

"How are my favorite girls?" Cook comes up from behind, wrapping his arms around Effy's waist and kissing her neck. Effy tips her head back and smiles. She typically wouldn't allow PDA in front of her brother, but right now she's too drunk to care. She enjoys the excitement pulsing through her body until Cook swings her over his shoulder and carries her out into the water.

"Put me down, shithole!" She laughs as she kicks and screams, struggling to get out of his grip.

"If you insist, Eff." He drops her about four feet deep and watches as the water washes over her brown hair. She looks exotic, like a mermaid. Her clothes are soaked through and her hair falls in a sleek sheet down her back. The fact that she's flicking him off and splashing water at his face only makes her more attractive. Something's really sexy about Effy when she's infuriated. Before he even knows what's happening, she leaps into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and smacking her lips into his. His drunken state has left him completely unbalanced and they both go crashing into the water. Even as water covers his face and body, their lips never part.

Tony and Katie are watching from the shore and Tony can't control the smile that creeps across his face. Although it disgusts him to watch his little sister make out with some guy, she looks happier than she ever had when he was home.

Katie looks at Tony and she can instantly feel the love he feels for his sister. She suddenly wishes she and Emily felt that way about each other.

"He loves her, Cook does. In case you were concerned."

Tony shifts his gaze to Katie when he realizes she's talking to him.

"Well she loves him. In case _he_ was concerned."

Tony can only imagine how hard it must be to date his sister. He has a hard enough time being related to her. His sister is incredible though. If Cook has stayed around long enough to see that, he's worth a shot with Effy.

"After Freddie died, we all went to your house to see Effy and make sure she was okay, but your mom said she didn't want to talk to anyone."

That makes sense to Tony. His sister was never one for words. He didn't really know what this had to do with anything though.

"None of us ever went back… except for Cook. He went to your house every single day to see Effy. I think after awhile your mom just stopped bothering to ask if she wanted visitors because she wouldn't even step away from the doorway before saying no. Every time the door shut in his face, he would stare up at her window for almost an hour waiting for Effy to look outside. After a few weeks, she did. She never let him in though. They'd just stare at each other until he got tired and walked home. I know a lot of people have their doubts about Cook, and whether or not he actually cares about Effy, but there's a lot more going on between them than you'd realize."

Tony just nods. He doesn't know what to say. He's never heard a story about so much determination for a girl, especially when Cook didn't even know if Effy felt the same way. As he looks out at the water, he throws his arm around Katie's shoulder.

"I guess I have nothing to worry about then. Shall we get a drink?" He grins and pulls Katie towards the picnic table covered in various booze. Katie lets out a giggle, feeling very pleased with herself. She put in a good word for her friend Cook, and now she's getting the guy she's had her eye on all night. He runs a hand through her red hair and gives her neck a gentle squeeze. Katie swallows a few gulps of whiskey and smiles. Tony blinks with surprise,

"Holy shit, taking it like a man, yeah?"

"Is there any other way to take it?"

There's something very wrong about flirting with Effy's older brother, and yet Katie can't stop. Tony is like, perfection. She doesn't even try to stop him as he leans in for a kiss. As he pulls away, she whispers the only word that comes to mind,

"Perfect."

**Author's Note: **_Just wanted to give a little background to my Cook/Effy relationship to make everything more real for everyone. Also spiced it up with some Katie/Tony romance (who I personally thought would have had great chemistry in the show). Anyways, let me know what ya'll think (: I'll try to update again soon._


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **_First off I would like to start off by replying to _breathemusicforme_: _YES! If I wasn't such a sucker for Cook and Effy, I could totally see him and Katie being great together_. Second of all, thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed this story! You're all lovely._

_So this is what love feels like,_ Cook thinks to himself in Effy's bed. _Or rather, this is what it feels like to be loved. _The door slowly creaks open and Effy walks in with a small smile on her face. He can't believe this is the same girl that he watched have nervous breakdown in the middle of the highway. He looks over at Effy's nightstand and picks up the bottle of pills, examining them.

"You haven't been takin' your meds, Eff?" He asks as he shakes the almost full bottle.

"They're anti-depressants, I'm not depressed anymore."

That answer doesn't totally satisfy him, but he's afraid to question her. He must be doing something right if she's stopped taking her medication. He uses that to justify her answer and tries not to think about it. So she used to suffer from psychotic depression, that doesn't mean things can't change. Things have definitely changed.

Effy knots her fingers in Cook's hair and kisses the side of his face, placing the drugs back on her nightstand. The pills make her numb to her own emotions. She stopped taking them after Freddie's memorial service because she was tired of hiding from what she was feeling.

"I'm okay, you're okay. We're all okay." She whispers and nuzzles her face into his neck.

Cook has no idea what that means. He hopes it's good, it sounds good. Besides, he's not a psychiatrist- it's not his place to say what's right or wrong in his girlfriend's brain. He lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes.

"We're all okay." Cook repeats as he falls back asleep.

* * *

><p>"Did you have fun fucking my best friend?" Effy sits at the kitchen table and takes a sip of her orange juice.<p>

"You really want me to answer that?" Tony laughs and takes a drag of his cigarette.

Effy wonders if Tony and Michelle are still dating at all. She doesn't really care if they are, but Tony's clearly back to his old ways. She watches as he pours himself a cup of coffee and sits down.

"Naughty little minx, that Katie Fitch is." He smirks and dumps a heap of sugar into his cup.

"Fuck off, tosser." She regrets even starting the conversation.

Is Katie still upstairs? Effy didn't even think to ask. Cook's still in her bed sleeping, so it's possible Katie's still here too. She's surprised that between her and Tony, she's the one who's found love. If Tony loves Michelle, he wouldn't be fucking Katie Fitch while he's home on break.

"You're not saying anything, but I can tell you're judging me." Tony exhales a puff of smoke in front of her face.

She snorts a laugh stares at him from behind her glass of juice. He's such a prick, but she loves it. He's the old Tony.

"What'd you think of Cook?" Effy asks casually, trying not to let on the fact that she's seeking her older brother's approval.

"He's an idiot. But he's good for you, Effy." Tony shrugs with a cocky smile on his face. That's all she needs to hear. Effy leaps up from her seat and smacks the back of his head before walking back upstairs to take a shower.

* * *

><p>The party is out of control. Effy doesn't think there have ever been this many people at the Stonem residence. The best part is she's actually enjoying her party this time.<p>

"Here, Effy. Saved this special for you." Cassie Ainsworth winks and hands Effy a small pink tablet. She stares at it for a few minutes before distinguishing it as acid. She knows she should take it easy, but it's just too tempting. Besides, Cass saved it special for her. Effy throws the pill in her mouth and chases it with a shot of whiskey.

After about a half hour all of the colors around Effy start to blend. She can't even tell if she's walking or not. But she's moving, gliding almost. It's like she's on one of those flat escalators they have at the airport, except she can't get off. Effy swings the door open to her room and plops down on her bed face first.

"You okay, Eff?" Effy looks up to see Freddie standing in the doorway. She knows it must be her mind playing tricks on her, but he looks so real. If only for the moment, she'll convince herself he is.

"I'm sorry." She whispers softly.

"What are you doing?" He sits down on the bed next to her.

"I have no fucking clue."

He looks exactly like she remembers him. Nothing has changed. Apparently death has been kind to him. Is he even dead? If he is, how is he sitting in front of her? Effy's mind is fucked. She can't tell what is real and what isn't. She reaches out to touch his face. He feels real. He smiles softly, but his eyes are filled with sadness. Hers are too, because as she touches him, she doesn't feel the spark anymore. She feels like she's betrayed him by not returning his feelings anymore.

"I'm sorry, Freddie." She doesn't really know what she's apologizing for, but she keeps repeating it.

Tony has no idea what the fuck is wrong with his sister. She is definitely _on_ something, but she is also _off_ the rails. Why the hell is she calling him Freddie? He doesn't know all that much about the Freddie situation so he isn't sure what to say. He keeps telling her he isn't Freddie, but she just ignores him and apologizes again. It's like she's lost in a world of her own.

"You always loved me best." She smiles and kisses his cheek. _This is a beautiful moment_, Effy thinks, _one for the books._

"You obviously didn't love me since you're fucking Cook again." Effy hears the words and they eat her up inside. She becomes filled with anger. Anger at herself for abandoning Freddie the way she did. She's the most selfish person she knows. She feels like the words are crawling all over her skin and it disgusts her. She starts clawing at herself and ripping at her bedspread.

"Effy, what the fuck?" Tony tries to shake her but she doesn't hear him. She starts hitting anything she sees. She smacks her lamp off the nightstand and tears her posters off of the wall. He doesn't know how to stop her, he just watches helplessly. Clearly he's been gone too long.

"Effy, _stop." _ Cook walks in and stares at Effy sternly.

The minute Effy sees Cook, something inside of her snaps. He's the reason Freddie hates her now. Her fists start pounding into him, but her wrists are too weak to cause any damage. He grabs both of her arms and holds them at her waist.

"It's me, Cook." He tries to catch her eye contact long enough to snap her out of whatever this is.

"I know who the fuck you are." She struggles to break free but he's too strong for her. She looks behind her and Freddie's still sitting on her bed. She's waiting for him to tell Cook to let go, but he doesn't. He just watches. He's disappointed in her, she can tell. Her emotions are torturing her right now. She feels like her whole body is on fire inside, but frozen over on the outside. Suddenly she bursts into a fit of tears, without even realizing it.

"This isn't what Freddie would've wanted. You and me, this isn't what Freddie would've wanted."

Cook was running out of ways to end this episode. She's angry, but incredibly sad. He has never seen her like this. He turns her around to face Tony.

"He's not Freddie, yeah? That's Tony, you're brother."

This doesn't register for her. She starts crying more and apologizing to him repeatedly. Cook is getting frustrated now, he just needs to get Effy back. He can't even control what comes out of his mouth next. He turns her back to focus on his face and notices that she's trembling slightly.

"Listen, I don't give a fuck what Freddie would've wanted. Wake the fuck up, Eff. Freddie's gone. He's gone."

Effy wrinkles her brow in confusion. Where did Freddie go then? She looks over her shoulder and Tony's sitting on her bed. When did Tony get here? _Wait, _where's Freddie? She becomes manic, worrying that she missed her only chance to talk to Freddie once and for all. Cook pulls her forehead up to his and presses them firmly together.

"Hey, I'm right here. We're all okay."

She hears those words, those three precious words and she suddenly realizes that this is all a hallucination. At least, Freddie was a hallucination. This is all very real.

Cook notices that she's calmed down and he loosens any holds he has on her. She looks completely hopeless and broken right now. She looks like a child. He figures any minute she'll start hitting him again, but instead she presses her face into his shirt and starts crying uncontrollably.

"I want you." She whispers, barely loud enough for him to hear, "You're the one I want."

Tony and Cook breathe a sigh of relief as they lay Effy down in her bed and tuck her in. She wakes up, if only for a minute, to beg Cook to stay with her.

"You saved her tonight." Tony says as they walk into the hallway.

"She just…needed saving." Cook shrugs. He doesn't like to make a big deal about the things he does for Effy. They seem to mean a lot to other people, but it's not that out of the ordinary for him.

"You're a good man, James Cook. I couldn't imagine anyone better for my sister." Tony smiles and squeezes Cook's shoulder.

"Freddie. Freddie was better for your sister. He always will be."

For a moment Tony's disappointed he never got to meet this Freddie McClair, he sounds like quite the guy. He feels like Cook is worried that he'll never be able to replace Freddie. Tony wishes he'd realize that no one is asking him to.

"He must be pretty furious at you for snatching up his girl then?" Tony jokes and nudges Cook's side.

"Yeah well, I couldn't help it. I just love her too fucking much, you know?"

Tony stares into Effy's room and smiles at her sleeping peacefully in her bed.

"I know exactly what you mean."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **_Sorry this update took longer than usual. This chapter took forever to write because I think it may be the last one :/ I wanted to make it perfect. I am almost positive this is the ending, but if I change my mind, I'm sure you'll all be alerted. If I do write another fanfic, it will likely be skins, so keep your eyes peeled (;_

_Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed, your support was spectacular I appreciated every bit of it. :D_

"You alright, Eff?" Naomi asks softly as she walks up to Freddie's gravestone. Effy is sitting on the grass staring at her hands. She's not crying, just staring straight down. Cook hadn't heard from Effy all day after he left her house the morning after the party. He said it was best to give her some space, and let her gather her thoughts, but Naomi could tell he was concerned. The cemetery was the first place she looked. Effy doesn't answer her right away, so Naomi sits down on the ground next to her.

"Is it wrong for me to wish the grave were mine sometimes?" Effy pushes a few brown wisps out of her face as the wind blows gently.

"No," Naomi sighs, "but wishing doesn't really change anything, does it?

They both exchange glances and Naomi shrugs. She can't even imagine what it would be like to lose Emily. But the hardest part for Effy is that there was always someone else, someone who clearly, never totally left her heart. James Cook.

"No one had ever cared about me the way Freddie did, besides my brother."

The silence after that sentence kills Naomi, and she has to add, "And Cook."

Effy just nods gently, "Yeah, and Cook."

In all honesty, Effy feels guilty. She feels like she always has to mess everything up in her life. She has this intense fear of being happy, because being happy means that she's vulnerable to her emotions.

"You know, it's okay to love them both."

That's the first time anyone's ever said that to Effy. When this whole thing with Cook/Effy/Freddie started, everyone told her to choose. They told her she couldn't have it both ways, and she had to pick which one she loved more. The thing about choosing, especially when it comes to people, is that someone always gets left behind. Effy chose Freddie. She'll never regret choosing Freddie. She'll always regret leaving Cook behind.

Naomi had always pushed for Effy and Freddie to be together, but in the last couple months she'd witnessed the passion between Effy and Cook that she couldn't deny. It's very possible that Effy has more than one soul mate, considering Effy seems to have more than one soul. She has the calm, beautiful, carefree side that everyone saw with Freddie, but she also has this fiery, intense, exhilarating side that everyone sees with Cook.

"He's never going to hold it against you, you loving Freddie the way you do."

Effy wipes away a few stray tears, shaking her head.

"Sometimes I just worry, you know? I worry that I'm with Cook to fill the void Freddie left when he died."

Naomi has had this exact conversation with Cook at least five times, because he worries about the same thing. She wishes they'd realize that they'll never be happy together if they keep questioning the integrity of their relationship.

"If that's true, then why Cook?"

"What do you mean?" Effy asks, and leans down to light a cigarette.

"I mean if you really just needed someone to fill Freddie's void, why did you choose Cook? He's not very smart, in fact he's really quite stupid. I guess he's pretty fit, but that's not saying much considering you could have just about anyone. He's gotten into more fights in the past two years than most guys will their whole lives. He's aggressive, careless, and maybe even a little selfish. So of all the guys out there to pick from, why did you choose Cook?"

A smile spreads across Effy's lips as Naomi talks. All of these things that Naomi seems to consider a negative, are the things that make Effy love Cook. That must be why Cook loves Effy, too. He sees her negatives as positives. Her faults are not faults to him.

"Because I love him." Once the words start pouring out Effy can't really get them to stop, "It's fucked up how completely in love with him I am and it scares me because I worry that the more I fall in love with Cook, the more I'll forget about Freddie."

Naomi's never seen Effy cry before. She watches as the strongest person she knows breaks down in front of her and Naomi has no idea what to do. She looks weak, and small. Should she comfort her? Probably. But Naomi has no idea how. She scoots over and puts her arm around Effy's shoulders.

"You've gotta stop punishing yourself, Eff."

* * *

><p>As they walk back to Effy's house, Naomi sees Cook sitting on the front step with Emily. She nods Emily over to give Cook and Effy their space. They watch as he wraps Effy up in a hug and presses his face into her hair. It's beautiful, really. The way they don't need to say anything, they just understand. Emily wipes away a tear running down Naomi's face.<p>

"We should go home now, yeah?"

After Freddie died, Naomi watched Cook bring home girl after girl home to make himself forget about Effy. To be honest, Naomi didn't understand. She didn't understand _why Effy, what is so special about Effy?_ Yeah, she's pretty and she has that whole alluring thing going on, but she's just Effy. She doesn't _really_ care about Cook, or anyone else for that matter. Then she sees his face as Effy walks up to him and she understands. It's the same face she makes when Emily's approaching her. Naomi smiles as Effy closes her eyes and hugs Cook back. Effy and Freddie were cute. They were always cute. But Effy and Cook are passionate, and beautiful.

"Yeah." She nods as they link arms and make their way down the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>Effy knew her mom wasn't home, and she was practically desperate to get Cook inside. Her eyes blink open and she smiles as she presses her lips against his, pulling him up the front steps and through the door. She pushes him against the wall in the hallway and slowly lifts his shirt over his head, pressing her body against his. Effy's done questioning her heart now. She's tired of analyzing the same situation every time she and Cook get close again.<p>

Cook runs his hands up her shirt, and feels the cold skin of her back and stomach. He wants to make her warm. He wants her to feel as warm as he does at this moment. His mouth travels over her neck and collarbone greedily. It seems like she's trying to be gentle with him, so maybe he should do the same. As he pulls her shirt off, he studies the features of her face. For a moment, he forgets what he's doing. He just gets lost staring at her. He loves her.

She loves him. Effy walks backwards into her bedroom so that their eyes never lose focus. She can tell it takes a lot for him to control himself and not just throw her on the bed aggressively like usual. She hadn't even realized that his fingers had been laced with hers since the moment they embraced outside. His hand comes up to cup her face and he rests his thumb against the side of her mouth. Her eyes get glossy with tears, because this is everything. All the shit she's been through is over now. This is everything. Cook is everything now. This is all she wants. There's no more thinking, no more questioning. This is everything. She doesn't even have time to whisper, "I love you" before his lips come colliding into hers. Effy falls onto her bed and smiles as Cook climbs on top of her, sliding his hand up her leg and firmly grasping her waist. _Just you and me, babe._

_It's always you and me, _Cook thinks to himself as Effy lightly bites the skin on his neck. A rush of excitement runs through him. He was trying to take it slow, but now he has to have her. Cook pins Effy's arms to the bed as he slides down and kisses her stomach and hipbones. He's getting lost in a moment and losing control of himself. Effy's fingernails dig into his shoulder as he enters her slowly but roughly. It's like the first day of college all over again. All he can think about is right now. After Effy told him she loved him, they'd had sex. It was incredible, he wouldn't deny that, but she was distracted. He could tell her mind was somewhere else the whole time. This time is different. It's like she's put everything else behind her, and she's finally his.

Effy lets out a soft moan as she wraps her legs around Cook's waist. She's glad she went to visit Freddie today. He and Naomi helped her realize that there's nothing wrong with being happy. This is genuine happiness. Her mind can't think of anything else.

An hour later, Cook collapses onto the bed, exhausted, and stares up at the ceiling. He would normally try to gather his thoughts after something like this, but now he doesn't have to. He and Effy are together. He doesn't have to worry how it will affect anyone else. He could fall asleep any minute, but Effy's voice snaps him out of his hazy state.

"You think he's happy?"

"Who, Freds?" If it were any other girl, Cook would just pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't have to talk to the fucking twat laying next to him. But this is Effy, he doesn't play those games with her. He looks over and sees her nod gently out of the corner of his eye before she continues her thought,

"Yeah, I mean his girl and his best mate ended up together in the end. Think he's happy?"

Cook snorts a laugh. He had been stuck in this mindset that Freddie was watching them, angrily clenching his fists and cursing Cook's name repeatedly. But Freddie knows how much Cook cares about Effy. Freddie knows that Cook would fucking hurl himself in front of a van to save her. Freddie knows that Cook has never loved another girl besides Effy, and probably never will. Maybe Effy's right. If not Cook, _then who?_

"Yeah, I do." He doesn't really know how else to respond, as much as he wants to throw out a clever remark.

"He always knew," Effy starts, "He probably knew even before I did."

"Knew what?"

"That I was still in love with you. That I _am_ still in love with you."


End file.
